Steps to a brighter future

Motivation: a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.

Recently I have lacked so much motivation that it has been very disheartening and basically has just made me want to give up on anything and everything within sight, not just my blog but even my college work and in general my life. I noticed these changes and suddenly had the urge to change everything around me. So I thought it was about time to do a post on some motivation tips for anyone like me out there who just feels themselves slacking.

Motivation is what our everyday lives are based on. Motivation is what drives you towards your goal and all in all what gets you up in the morning. I bet we have all had those days where we just had 'no motivation' to get up and just wanted to stay in bed all day? Am I right? In order to combat this thing which if you practise is a very good skill to have; to be able to say, I am a motivated person; you need to slowly but steadily put these what I have found very useful tips into use.

Break it up into smaller goals:
Setting yourself unrealistic huge goals to be honest just is not going to work. In order to achieve and get to the stage you want to be at, you need to set yourself mini goals and get to those stages first before you can reach that final goal at the very end. Just do not try to go for that final goal all in one go and all at once. That will become very overwhelming and in the end make you lack motivation more because you will just think you are getting nowhere, when in reality if you set smaller goals you will see progress more often and so this will keep you motivated to keep going and reach that final goal.

Reward yourself: 
Giving yourself rewards after reaching these small goals will also help keep you motivated to keep going towards the final goal. For example, if you are doing some work for school or uni, tell yourself if I get this part of the work done I can watch this programme or have this snack or can go out with friends. I usually reward myself with watching a episode of something I am currently watching on Netflix or by watching a YouTube video.

Find reasons for doing the things you need to do:
For example, one thing that really motivates me is proving people wrong. If someone says I cannot do something I will physically go out of my way to prove that person wrong. I am not sure whether that is a bad quality of mine or a bad quality of the other person to say that someone cannot do something in the first place. But all in all, it helps. Basically, just try and find a reason or reasons for doing something or getting something done. Back to the example of school or uni work, the reason to get this done could be you won't have work to do and can relax, you will achieve the grades you want and you will be one step closer to your final goal and where you want to be with the career you want in life.

Become aware of what you urges are to quit and prepare yourself for them:
If you do a certain thing or act a certain way before you just give up with it all and quit, note this down and then when the next time comes around you can be aware of these signs and stop yourself quitting. First of all you need to think of a way to prepare yourself for these urges and how to stop yourself from quitting; usually, if you sit there and remind yourself of what you are doing this for, that will help. For example, reminding yourself of why you are doing these things like the section above says or trying to think positive and remain positive.

Think positive: 
Which nicely leads me onto this section. For all of this to work, you have to think positive. Because as they say "you cannot live a positive life with a negative mind". To reach your goal you have to look at the bigger picture and ignore any set-backs. Remind yourself you are great and you can do this, one day you will get there; but of course it will take time.

Give it time, be patient: 
Again I am led nicely onto the next section. (Well done Laura for your tactical wording.) Remind yourself that things do not happen overnight, if you are trying to loose weight you won't immediately drop 2 stone overnight, if you are wanting to run a marathon you are not going to be able to wake up the next day and run the 26 or so miles that a marathon is. Everything takes time and effort. The word effort is a word that many people are scared of, and that is just something that we all have to learn to deal with because after all, it is just a word.

And finally, Find inspiration on a daily basis:
The worst thing is feeling so down one day that you just want to give up and not even get out of bed. So to fight this, you have to find one thing that inspires you every single day. Anything. Whether this be a quote, a picture, a person or even a place. Find something.

Motivation quotes:
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop"
"If you can dream it, you can do it"
"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can"
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream"

Motivation is a hard thing to find and get to grips with, but hopefully one day we shall all be very motivated people.
I hope this post has helped, thank you reading.
Laura x

Where I have been

I have recently abandoned my blog and I am so sorry, so I would like to tell you all where on earth I have been...

My life has been pretty hectic this past year. So let's go back to the beginning...

I found myself crying my eyes out most nights not being able to sleep because the darkness and dreadful thoughts overwhelmed me, until eventually I got so warn out from all the crying that I just collapsed into a pit of zzz. It eventually got to the point where I had a mental breakdown and by this I mean 3am in the morning my nan was sitting downstairs with me trying to calm me down whilst I curled up into a pit on the floor in fits of tears not being able to control myself or my actions, telling myself this was it. From then on my nan knew I needed help, she took me to the doctors where I burst into tears in the doctors room about my life and about how I didn't know how I felt and how to control it and I just wanted it all to end. She diagnosed me with clinical depression. I was immediately referred to an emergency team who visited me weekly and checked on me with phone calls and everything to make sure I was still going. I was also rushed to the top of the list of a clinic for mental health problems for counselling. 

Well months down the line and we are here, so where have I been? The truth is, I've been trying to get better. And yes the road to recovery is long, I am still with both of the teams but the emergency one is ending soon. I got told the other week by my counsellor that at the beginning when she first met me she was very worried about me and now she can tell I am improving, I don't need as much support anymore and I have learnt to be able to deal with my moods better. 

So I would like to share my tips and tricks of how I have managed to get myself to the stage I am in now, yes I am not completely better and it will be a long time until I am. I still have days where I am low and nights where all I do is cry and cry. 

Firstly, you need help, you may think your alone but your not. Yes counselling is very hard but having someone there to talk to and make you think about why you are thinking the things you are thinking actually does help. 

Next, change your lifestyle. For example, I got a job and I moved from school to college and made friends and removed all the negativity I had in my life. I started to spend more time with the people I love instead or isolating myself, even though I still do sometimes. I also started to try and de-stress myself by trying to be a bit more organised. 

After that, imagine yourself doing something and eventually if you imagine it so much it happens, after you've done whatever it is you will feel great. For example, going up to someone and speaking to them instead of hiding away.

And the last tip I have is believe in yourself. Tell yourself yes instead of no, think positive not negative. 

I hope this clears things up and also helps some people.

Remember you are not alone.

If you need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to contact me at lauranorman-phipps@hotmail.co.uk

Until next time, 

Laura x

Liebster Award

Firstly, thank you so so much to http://thebeautydollx.blogspot.co.uk for my nomination,was so kind of you as my blog is very new and it's lovely to be recognised already! Xx

The basic rules:
Link and thank the blogger who nominated you
Answer the questions they asked
Pick 11 other bloggers with no more than 200 followers to nominate
Ask them 11 questions and let them know you nominated

My questions:

 Favourite comfort food?

This has to be sweets, I have the worst sweet tooth around and can get through one packet or more per day, it's bad.

Your favourite blogger?

I don't actually have a favourite blogger, I like to look at a mixture and I think everyone is unique and brings something different to their blog, so I love lots!

Do you have any bad habits?

I used to be obsessed with shopping and I still am just have learnt to control spending my money and spend it mostly on food now, oh life. If you call shopping a bad habit? 

 What is the most random thing you have ever done?

This is a really hard question as I have done lots of random things which just aren't coming to my mind! And I'm not really sure what you would class as random as a definition of random can be different to each person!

 Your dream job?
My dream job is to become a journalist and to have my own column in a well known magazine. I am just about to start a 2 year course studying journalism at college so I'm really hoping this will help me kick start my future.

What would you do if you won 10 million on the lottery?
I personally would invest most of it into a savings account and keep for my future for when I need it, I would give some to a charity very close to my heart- The Hospice of St Francis- who helped my mum brilliantly before she sadly passed away of cancer,making her last days happier ones and also providing counselling to my nan,my sister and myself to help us try and recover from our loss. Of course I would spend a bit and go out and buy clothes,bags,shoes,makeup and so on, but I wouldn't step out to expensive things I would just go into my normal high street stores

Favourite movie/TV series?
I have just finished watching Orange is the new black and enjoyed that although some episodes were a bit boring and I felt I had to watch them just to get through to see what happened.
I am really enjoying American Horror Story and Grimm at the moment also.
And of course I'm watching Eastenders as I just want to know who the killer is.
I have lots of favourite films so I could not sit down and list one or even a few, I like a variety of films to but I'm mainly a normal chic flick or comedy sort of girl.


What type of person would you describe yourself as?
I would describe myself as a shy but very bubbly, different person. I'm not your average girl, I have some boy traits to me but then again I am your average girl who just loves clothes and makeup. I am very lazy and prefer movie nights in comfy clothes or pjs and food then going out to a party.

What do you do in your spare time?
As you can guess in most of my spare time I will watch movies or tv series in bed in comfy clothes or pjs with endless amounts of sweets and chocolate and cups of tea.
Other than that I will spend time with my family,boyfriend and friends.

Your favourite drink?
I have a few favourite drinks, these being normal English breakfast tea, robinsons fruit and barley peach juice and water.



What is your favourite time of the year?
My favourite time of the year is summer because it stays lighter for longer, it is warmer and just much more fun.

My nominations: 

 www.itslittlelaurenslooks.blogspot.com
thepixiechic.com
fizikizi .blogspot.com
aliceemarie.blogspot.co.uk
stillawaketoseethesunrise.blogspot.com
www.elishalifestyleblogger.blogspot.com
www.partofbellesworld.blogspot.co.uk
nailsmakeupbeauty.blogspot.co.uk
www.sparklesandstories.com
lizwills.blogspot.com
learntoescape.blogspot.com

My questions to nominees:

1.What inspired you to start blogging?
2. What's your favourite food?
3. What's your favourite book?
4. What's the best advice you could give someone?
5. If you could be someone for one day,who would it be and why?
6. What is your lifetime ambition?
7. If you could only travel to one place in the world, where would it be and why?
8. What is your main wardrobe essential?
9. Do you prefer heels or flats?
10. If you had one wish what would it be?
11. Who's your role model?

Again thank you for the nomination,I'm so honoured and have fun answering these questions!
Thank you for reading,
Laura x

Stress management

Have you ever been called a stress head? Ever got yourself so worked up over a situation that you have made yourself physically ill from it? Ever just wanted to turn around and say 'do you know what I'm done with this all' and give up? Then I think it's about time you started learning to deal with your stress problems.

Like many others I have gone through my fair share of stressful experiences. Many people deal with it in different ways but most people get so worked up that stress starts to become the only thing they feel anymore and they go into this state of what seems to be depression.
Here are some tips that I have tried to put into action to reduce the amount of stress I face on a day-to-day basis and I encourage you to do the same:

Avoid necessary stress
This may seem so obvious but the truth is people don't do it, most people actually make themselves involved within the stress and stress themselves out even more which can lead to arguments and illness.

• Learn how to say no
• Avoid people who stress you out
• Take control of things around you
• Avoid 'hot-button' topics (topics that may make you more stress or get you wound up) 

Alter the situation

To begin to change the way things are around you and work on your stress levels you need to alter any situations that may be or have stressed you out to avoid any further stress.

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up (only if it won't cause more stress and start any unecessary arguments). Bottling your feelings up can lead to more anger or frustration inside of you leading to more stress.
• Be willing to compromise eg. Behaviour 
• Be more assertive 
• Manage your time better (I find writing lists of what I need to do or things I need to buy for example, lower my stress levels because I know what I have to do and don't have to remember them and can tick them off when I'm done and know they are done and dusted

Adapt to the stressor

You have to be willing to change things and learn to adapt to things.

• Look for positives 
• Adjust standards, everything doesn't have to be perfect
• Look at the big picture (things will change in the future and a silly argument you will be having now you will laugh at when you are older) 

Accept the things that cannot change 

Like I said in the last part, things can't always be perfect and sometimes you just have to accept that. 

• Don't try to control the uncontrollable (things that are out of your control, just stay away from and accept you can't control it)
• Learn to forgive (people make mistakes and life and we aren't perfect, learn that we are all human) 
• Learn from your mistakes (however you need to learn from these mistakes and I know sometimes it takes me making the same mistake 10 billion times for me to finally realise but eventually I get there, sometimes some people just need a bit more pushing) 

And finally make time for fun and relaxation 

If you are always working or doing things for other people, sit back and think, you need time for yourself and to make yourself happy and time to calm down,relax and reflect.

• Have ME time
• Connect with others (go out with your friends, be socialable or just maybe go sit downstairs and watch a film with your family or talk to people over social networking) 
• Do something you enjoy everyday, at least one thing
• Keep your sense of humour (never ever become a dull person and loose your personality, always be you and stay true to yourself)

I hope this has helped even just one person manage to start making those small but very beneficial changes to their life and start living for the now.

Thank you for reading 

Laura x