Where I have been

I have recently abandoned my blog and I am so sorry, so I would like to tell you all where on earth I have been...

My life has been pretty hectic this past year. So let's go back to the beginning...

I found myself crying my eyes out most nights not being able to sleep because the darkness and dreadful thoughts overwhelmed me, until eventually I got so warn out from all the crying that I just collapsed into a pit of zzz. It eventually got to the point where I had a mental breakdown and by this I mean 3am in the morning my nan was sitting downstairs with me trying to calm me down whilst I curled up into a pit on the floor in fits of tears not being able to control myself or my actions, telling myself this was it. From then on my nan knew I needed help, she took me to the doctors where I burst into tears in the doctors room about my life and about how I didn't know how I felt and how to control it and I just wanted it all to end. She diagnosed me with clinical depression. I was immediately referred to an emergency team who visited me weekly and checked on me with phone calls and everything to make sure I was still going. I was also rushed to the top of the list of a clinic for mental health problems for counselling. 

Well months down the line and we are here, so where have I been? The truth is, I've been trying to get better. And yes the road to recovery is long, I am still with both of the teams but the emergency one is ending soon. I got told the other week by my counsellor that at the beginning when she first met me she was very worried about me and now she can tell I am improving, I don't need as much support anymore and I have learnt to be able to deal with my moods better. 

So I would like to share my tips and tricks of how I have managed to get myself to the stage I am in now, yes I am not completely better and it will be a long time until I am. I still have days where I am low and nights where all I do is cry and cry. 

Firstly, you need help, you may think your alone but your not. Yes counselling is very hard but having someone there to talk to and make you think about why you are thinking the things you are thinking actually does help. 

Next, change your lifestyle. For example, I got a job and I moved from school to college and made friends and removed all the negativity I had in my life. I started to spend more time with the people I love instead or isolating myself, even though I still do sometimes. I also started to try and de-stress myself by trying to be a bit more organised. 

After that, imagine yourself doing something and eventually if you imagine it so much it happens, after you've done whatever it is you will feel great. For example, going up to someone and speaking to them instead of hiding away.

And the last tip I have is believe in yourself. Tell yourself yes instead of no, think positive not negative. 

I hope this clears things up and also helps some people.

Remember you are not alone.

If you need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to contact me at lauranorman-phipps@hotmail.co.uk

Until next time, 

Laura x